DON’Ts: Here’s how to increase the likelihood that I’ll ignore your email
Here’s an easy one: “Hi wanna session with me lemme know lol kthxbye” or other one-line emails that tell me nothing re: who you are, what you’re looking for, where you’re looking to get it [again: in the subject line], whether you’ve got references, let alone any other indication that you’re serious and not just trying to get my attention [read: waste my time].
Expanding on the above: in particular, emails along the lines of “I want to do a session—can you do x y or z to me?” without relevant logistical details will generally be ignored. That is, I will not be baited into indulging you in fantasy discussion if I am not convinced you are making a serious inquiry about an actual session—period, the end.
Last-minute requests [e.g., “SF tonight?”] unless you’re a regular of mine.
Calling me pet names or assuming that I care what a stranger on the Internet thinks about how I look [“flattering” or not].
Sending me unsolicited, detailed, raunchy fantasies over email, especially before we’ve even actually booked a session. The reason for describing your proclivities is to let me know what you’re into so that I can determine A. whether I’m willing to offer up my services, and B. if so, equipping me to provide the best possible session for you. It is not to inundate me with your self-written erotica. If I need/want more concrete details to better understand your desires, you may ask to share those with me, or I may even ask you—after we’ve sessioned together at least once.
Attaching or embedding any photos I haven’t asked for. I won’t open these.
DOs: Here’s how to become my new favorite client
Proactively provide references [i.e., provide them without me having to ask you for them]. Especially true if you’re asking me about anything that isn’t on my “Yes!” list, or you’re asking me to come to a location of your choosing rather than mine.
Put the geographical area/city where you’re based or where you’d like to session in the subject line of the message. Easy points for doing this one!
Mention your special proclivities, if applicable, but keep it to the point and professional [see the bullet point re: unsolicited detailed fantasies].
In the spirit of the previous two bullet points: include as much useful, concrete information in your very first message to me as possible [suggestions are in the small print for the Message section of my contact form below].
Show up with good hygiene. Bare minimum: clean wrestling clothes and recently-brushed teeth. Some [not all] of my session locations have a shower that you’d be more than welcome to use before we hit the mats—ask in advance.
Extra credit: Instead of asking what my rates are, verify that you’ve read my Sessions page and already know and agree to my policies and rates [otherwise, the first thing I’ll do in my response is send you the link to my Sessions page and tell you to read it and make sure you can agree to it—which is fine, but you’ll win points if we can skip that extra step].
Extra-extra credit if you manage to make me laugh while abiding by the above.